inspiration, mental health, parenting

Change

Are you ready for change? I know I am. So as you all know I have been struggling to decide what to do with myself and my future. I have spent my life being passionate about helping others and that continues to be my goal. Yet, some things have changed. The big change is finding out how as an adult with grown children I am going to help others?

Well through the past few years I have come to learn that I am an empath. What that means for me is I can feel what others are feeling. Not necessarily exactly what you may be feeling but I can connect close enough. When those around me are sad, hurt or angry I can sense that feeling come over me. I want to use that gift to be here to assist you.

I have faced struggles at many different times in my life and I want to be your coach to help you get through those times too. Whether it be taking care of someone you love, being a new parent, raising kids, a teen or anyone for that matter feeling depressed, worthless or anxious, losing a loved one, struggling with an addiction, being over weight or whatever, I am going get you through it.

How am I going to do this? Well I was thinking of making a podcast. I have never done it so it will be an adventure but that will be a free tool people can use. A tool that you can easily access whenever you need to.

I am also training in tools that I can help people in person with, such as; meditation, tai-chi, aromatherapy and reiki.

I hope you will join me on this amazing journey and I hope that this is my way to help those out there who need help and can’t seem to find it.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration, parenting

Success

I have been struggling with this word for years now. Society makes one believe that your success is based on your worth and what you have. Well if one is not working then you could say they have no success. To be viewed as having no success is not a good feeling at all.

Today’s conversation when with others at gatherings is usually, “So what do you do for a living?” “How does that job pay?” I currently do not have an income therefore I don’t fell like I have much to give to the conversation.

Not having an income does not mean I do not have a job. I have a very challenging job. I am a stay at home mom in more of the traditional view. Again, in today’s society, thanks to many different shows, one could view a stay at home mom as someone who has a nanny, maid, spends their time working out or shopping. I do not fit into that category at all.

I am the one raising my children. They have never been to daycare or had a nanny. Heck, they have barely ever had a babysitter. When they have has a babysitter it is with my in-laws or parents, which I am very grateful for. I am the cook, housekeeper, chauffer, counselor, and whatever else they need. My job is very important, my children. I am the one teaching them morals, values and discipline. I take this job very seriously.

However, my children are all in school now so I have realized I would like to return to the workforce at least part-time. I would not want to work full-time because they still need me. They have the summers off, vacations, sick days and plenty of after school activities. I have asked them if they would be ok with me going to work and they have all said they would rather me be home for them so that is still my main objective.

I have a degree in social work and realized I missed that so I looked into getting a social work job. In NJ you need to be licensed to get a social work job. You have to have your MSW to get a social work license. I have a BSW. I decided to take a MSW class to see if that is something I want to pursue and I realized I do not want to go for my MSW. So now what!!

I am exploring different avenues and trying to find what I enjoy. I am currently learning about aromatherapy. In one of the books I am studying, Business Mastery, by Cherie M Sohnen-Moe, it talks about what success means to each of us. Is it how much we make, how we look or what we own? Is it something to achieve or a way of living?

I realized that success to me is about who I am and who my children are. How my children behave when they are away from me shows how successful I am. They are my true success. My husband tries to remind me of that whenever I am getting down. He tells me what an amazing mom I am and how wonderful our kids are.

So while I may still be in pursuit of a career path, I realize that having a job that pays me money does not mean I have no worth or that I am not successful. I can hold my head high when I am in conversations now about careers and money. At this point I am very successful and no money in the world could buy what I have. I have children who know how to treat others, respect their elders and hopefully be able to live on their own at some point. They have great values and morals.

Your success isn’t in how much money you are making or how high up the ladder you are at a business. It is how you treat those around you. What are you doing to make yourself better? Look inside, now that you have this time and see if you have reached the success of values and morals. If not then get to work!!!

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

famous people, movies, parenting, prayers

The Cokeville Miracle

I have been struggling with what to say about the recent avoidable death of George Floyd. The video of his murder makes me sick to my stomach and I am brokenhearted for this world. We try to teach our children to love others as themselves. Not to judge a person by the outside but how they are on the inside, that is what matters.

Who would have thought that in the year 2020 we would still be fighting a race battle. I can’t believe there are people living in fear simply because of the color of their skin. How can that be?

As a mother I think that kids absorb everything that goes on around them. They learn how to be and act towards others. We were blessed by parents who taught us to show love to all those around us. It doesn’t matter what color, gender, abilities or disabilities or financial status you have. Now my children have received the same blessing. However, not everyone is so lucky. I have no clue what kind of upbringing others have had to make them feel the way they do towards others. I try to teach those I know by my actions and words.

So I have been praying for our country and world and trying to figure out what to say. Then one night I got a recommendation for a movie I might like on Hulu called The Cokeville Miracle. This is about the power of prayer and that hatred will not change anything but prayer can.

An outcry for change has come from so many deaths but George Floyd’s horrible death, on camera has pushed people to their limits. Now we have protests, riots, looting and more deaths. People are filled with hate and anger and where is that getting us? No where good.

So if you are feeling anger, hatred, sadness, fear, or anything pray on it. Ask God to help us change, to help us be better. Change apparently will not happen over night or even in a year from now but change can happen one person at a time. Each of us can choose to be better, to act better. Please don’t doubt the power of prayer and try to believe in miracles because prayers do get answered and miracles do happen.

To all those who are hurting right now please know that I am praying for us all and I won’t stop. May God hear our cries, and help make our country and world a better and safer place.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration, mental health, parenting, prayers, religion

Finding My Way out of Darkness

Through my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression.  When I was younger there were some dark times that I fought through.  Watching Oprah’s TV show introduced me to self-help and I began keeping a quote book and encouraging things.  I also relied on prayer to pull me out.

When I became a mom I ended up having to have a c-section and I was trying to breastfeed.  A lack of sleep became a given and it changed me.  I was sad most of the time and just felt like a different person.  I tried to put on the happy face around others but when alone there was no smiling at all.  My husband and I wanted to have another child but I told him I needed counseling first.  This counselor seemed to be making things worse.  She agreed with all my struggles and wanted me to just change situations I was in when I was not capable of changing them.  Once again I found myself turning to God and positive quotes.  I also joined a woman’s group at my church.  I found may way through again.

Through the years I have had my ups and downs and when I am down I have tried counseling but recently our insurance changed and counseling was going to cost us a pretty penny.  So less than a year ago I felt myself falling deep into my dark hole.  My in-laws attend a church that offers counseling for just a donation.  I looked to the Catholic Church to help.  Where I was living free counseling would be out of the question.  It was going to cost close to $125 an hour.  Are you serious?  How are people able to afford this?This made me mad and sad.  How can my religion not help me?  My local priest was willing to meet with me but I wanted someone I didn’t know personally.

I began praying and asking God to lead me where he wanted me to be.  Please help me find a way out of this.  I want to be better for my children.  My older brother gave me the gift of meditation for Christmas and I found myself doing that daily.  It really got me into an almost trans-like state.  This led me to reaching out to a friend of mine who has found peace and relief through Reiki.  A few years ago when she just began training, she practiced on me and I remember having the same calming feeling I had when I meditated.  I asked her if she would train me and thanks to her help I became certified in Reiki level I.

During this time I also went on a woman’s retreat and was introduced to Tai Chi.  Tai chi is like meditative movement.  This seemed to fit together with everything else I was learning and was similar, yet different tools I could use to help me.

God led me to these tools to help me and they were working.  I also remembered I use to love using essential oils to help me and the kids.  So I dug out my oils and began using them.  Peace was finding it’s way back into my life.  God has answered my prayers in a way that I didn’t expect but was grateful for.

So as I continue to learn more about these tools I am hoping that not only will I help myself but I can help others in similar situations find tools they can empower themselves with.  Stay tuned for future post on these different tools/blessings.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

parenting, religion

What Path is the Right Path?

So many of my posts are about the Catholic Church and my support of it.  However, just like when I was in high school, I find myself questioning things and the path I am on.  It is mostly because of my children.  What path should I be leading them down?

I have always had a strong connection to what I believe is God.  I was raised in the Catholic Church and I was taught to believe in the bible, Jesus and Mary.  The path I took as a child was also in Catholic school.  It was there that I learned that I had to follow all the rules or risk going to hell.  As I became a mother I felt so much pressure to do right by my children and the Catholic Church.  It seemed everything I was doing was going to send me to hell.  If we missed mass or I didn’t read the bible to them I risked going to hell.  When we did get to mass it was honestly torture because it was just me and three kids, two of which didn’t want to be there.  By the time mass was over I was either crying or my kids were because they lost electronics for the day.

Could the God I love really be willing to send me to hell for these things?  Could this really be the right path for us?  He/she knows how hard I am trying.  They know what is in my heart but is that not good enough?  To me my inner voice always told me that God loves me and is proud of me.  He/she sees my sorrow and pain, my remorse and shame.  My God wants me to be with them, not burn in hell.  My path is to God but do I get there by following my current path of the Catholic Church?  Is the current path that the church is going down the right one?  Have the leaders veered off course at all?

Forcing my kids to go to church was making them hate the religion I wanted them to love.  On top of that because they do not go to Catholic school they have to go to faith formation class.  Our choices were Sunday morning, Tuesday right after school, a week in the summer or homeschooling.  All were very challenging for us but we plugged through trying to figure out what works best for each child.  Honestly, I don’t know what they have really learned beside the fact that they hate these classes and this is not the path they want to follow.

My struggles have really been weighing on me.  Now with this mandatory stay at home there is no obligation to go to physical mass or attend certain events because all public gatherings are not allowed.  Mass is now on TV or events are on zoom.  This has opened my eyes to my truth.  My truth is that God loves all of us and he wants us to love one another and treat others with love and kindness.  He gave us Jesus and Jesus gave us the Church.  I believe the Apostles Creed;

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth;
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead;
He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting.  

The rest of the rules of the Catholic Church were created by men through the years.  Many have changed since the beginning and I believe they will change again.  I believe God wants me to lead my children to be good individuals and to know and love him.  So while my children may chose to take a different religious path in life my hope is that our paths will lead to the same destination.  I am committed to doing what is needed to help them find their paths and their relationship to God.

 

 

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

parenting

Week 1 of Distance learning

Well let’s be real about how distance learning is going.  We have had our ups and downs.  The first two days I thought it was easy, then reality set in.  I got notices from two teachers that two of my children were missing work.  So we had to do a take two and start over.  Apparently my 4th grader didn’t know what to do when she had a video she was suppose to watch wasn’t working.  I have told her I am here and willing to help whenever she needs it but her view is if her brothers don’t need help then she doesn’t either.  The video she was suppose to watch was exactly what she needed to be doing.

My oldest is in high school and has always been independent with his work.  He was sitting in the kitchen doing his homework but has moved back to his room where he has a desk and everything he needs.  He seems to be doing fine but he also took an online class last summer so I think that experience has helped him.

My middle child is in middle school and everyday he is on the phone with his classmate making sure they are getting everything done.  He was in the kitchen for the very first day and then went to the basement where his computer is so he can be on the phone and not bother anyone else.  After being contacted by his teacher he realized he wasn’t actually submitting the work.  He did the work but did not submit it the way he was suppose to.  Luckily the teachers have been great and she let it slide since this change is brand new.

The two oldest have been also having trouble with temptation of playing video games while on their computers.  My husband and I told them that if they needed a break from school work they could play for 30 mins but then needed to get back to work.  So far my son that is in middle school seems to be finished in the early afternoon.

Oh the other thing is we are not a morning family.  My husband has worked from home for the past 7 years and he starts work at 9 am.  So we decided at the beginning of all this that we would all get up then.  We were not sure if the kids school work would need to be done when the class time was or not so we just took a chance.  It turned out that the work just needed to be finished by the end of the day.  My daughter (4th grader) was doing work until late the first two days so we decided she would get up at 8am.

How have things been going with our 4th grader?  Well not easy.  As I said she didn’t want to ask for help in the beginning and when I thought she was doing work she was actually playing a video game.  Her brothers were so why couldn’t she?  This week is going better.  We have a white board that we put all her classes on and as she finishes them she puts a check next to them.  Then I go on her computer to make sure everything is turned in properly.  She also had been doing the work but not submitting it correctly.  She is sitting at our kitchen table using a laptop so I can check on her and keep her focused.

So all in all we are doing OK.  I am so grateful that I am a stay at home mom and I am able to be available to help them all.  I can’t imagine if both of us were working how things would go down.  I don’t know that my daughter would ever be done.  She really needs someone to keep her focused.  The other nice thing is after the first two days the school district sent a town wide survey to find out how things are going with everyone.  Since then they have let us know the major issues and what they were doing to fix those problems.

Hopefully, next week will be even smoother.  I wish the best of luck to all of us.

 

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

grateful, parenting

Life Keeps Throwing Curveballs

This Coronavirus is spreading world wide.  Today my children are beginning their experience with distant learning.  So I decided to sit down and work on my blog while they do school work.  I hope to share our ups and downs, our struggles and our joys.

Today is Thursday, March 19 so I told the kids today and tomorrow we are all going to sit in the kitchen and dining room on our devices and find our way together.  I am so blessed that we moved to a town that provides our older kids with chromebooks and we have the ability to learn from home.  I am also not working so I am home to guide them and be here for them.

It really makes me think of the less fortunate and how I can’t imagine how hard all of this must be for them.  I am enjoying this time home with my family and I am able to be home with them.  What about all those who have to work to pay bills and if they don’t work their bills don’t get paid?  Or those kids home alone because the parents have no other choice?  It is very hard for me not to think about others during this time.

I try and also remind my children how blessed they are.  Every night at dinner while we thank God for our food we also thank him for all we have and ask him to look out for all those not as lucky.  It is important to be thankful.  We are home together and are able to do our work from home.  We are healthy too.  Today we are very grateful for that.

Ok I am off to help my kids.  I will touch base next week hopefully.

 

 

copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla. All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

 

 

mental health, parenting, prayers

What Makes Someone ‘Evil’?

 

       I have never been able to understand how a person could get so angry that they would harm another human being.  I use to think a person had to just be evil to commit murder or violence.  Then I got a little taste of that anger.  I figure this is a good time to share that with all the violence that has been happening in our country and world.

       Something happened recently to someone I love dearly.  I hope to write about it one day but today it is too fresh, to new.  Yet, this event opened my eyes to what hate is and how it is fueled.

       When I love, I love with every fiber of my being and when someone I love hurts the pain I feel for them can be unbearable.   This time though that pain turned to anger.  Could it have turned to rage?  I wished those who had hurt my loved one pain and suffering.  I knew these people had NO clue what pain they had caused and so I wanted them to feel even a tiny piece of what I felt.

       I could see how easily it was for a person’s brain to switch.  How in the heat of those feelings all you want to do is avenge your loved one or to make those who have hurt you hurt just as bad or worse.

       I am blessed to have two amazing parents who raised me to know God and to know right from wrong.  I was taught that actions have consequences.  I never wanted to get in trouble with any authority or disappoint anyone, whether it was my parents, teachers or police.  So when this event came up I was able to control myself.  I was able to rationalize what I was feeling.  I  accepted it as a feeling and not something to act out on.

       I never felt those feelings before and they were SCARY.  I NEVER want to feel them again.  Those feelings led me to start counseling so I could try and work through what I was feeling.  I was able to reach out for help.

       What if I didn’t have that upbringing would I still have felt this way?  I am not sure.  Would I have been able to stop myself from acting on those feelings?  What if I didn’t have all those people in my life who loved me?  What if I didn’t have those people to let down?

       What if I didn’t have parents or had absentee parents?  What if I had parents but they were physically, emotionally or mentally abusive?  What if I lived feeling like an outcast or a failure?  What if I felt this way all the time?  What if I had no one?  What if I went to a school I hated and every day I was picked on or beat up?  So many what if’s.

       There are people out there who do horrible things, unimaginable things.  Were they born evil?  Were they born full of hate?  I try to believe that the majority of these people, if not all were not born evil and learned to hate.  I believe that I was blessed to be raised the way I was but does that make it ok for me to judge someone who was nowhere near as lucky as I was?  NO. 

       So I have learned a lot and I am teaching my children all that I have learned.  What have I learned?

       I learned that good people can do bad things. Everyone needs our prayers even those who harm us or others.  Those people may possibly need our prayers even more than others.  We should try our hardest to not judge others especially people who may be different than us.  We can’t say how we would react in a given situation unless we have actually been in that situation. 

       If we see someone alone or that looks sad we can try and reach out to them or tell someone.  If we see something that seems out of place or strange we should tell someone we trust.  A little eye contact and a simple smile to someone can make a difference.  We need to show people who God (they may not know of God) is through our actions.  We need to love one another (even those we don’t know) as He loved us.

       May God watch over us all and guide us to help those around us.  May he touch those who are alone or who are struggling.   

 

copyright 2018 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, mental health, parenting

Sleep With Me Podcast

sleepwithme-300x300

Growing up, my older brother and I were not very close.  We did not start becoming close until we were both in college.  When we did start becoming closer I realized my brother and I faced some of the same struggles in life.  What to do with the rest of our lives?  We had both been in more than one career field and we still were not sure.

Then we had children.  Parenting can be a real challenge but I think we were both doing a pretty good job at it.  Our kids got to see each other about once a year in the summer. During that time my big brother would do his best and see to it that I got some kind of break.  (I had two boys close in age and then added a little girl.  My hands were full.)

He often read them stories or told them stories at nap time or bedtime and he actually got them to sleep.  I was amazed.  In the summer they never wanted to nap or go to bed for me.  He had a gift but at the time I do not know if I or any of us realized what a blessing his gift really was.

Now jump ahead a few years.  I turned to him because I wanted to create a webpage where I could share what I was learning as a new mom and as a Catholic mom.  I wanted my big brother’s thoughts.  It turned out that during that time he had already created his Sleep With Me Podcast but it was still a hidden gem to most.  He was doing it because he wanted to and not to win anyone’s approval.  Good for you big brother!

I started listening to it here and there.  As a mom sometimes shutting my brain off and getting to sleep could be a real challenge.  I often would listen to the Rosary and sometimes I still do.  Yet, now I have my big brother.

I am a person all about bonding with loved ones.  It has always been my thing.  I feel like I don’t get the opportunity to bond with my siblings as much as I would like and often wished that could be different.  However, it is what it is.  Yet, now I feel like I am bonding more with my oldest brother.  At night when I am stressed and cannot get to sleep I turn to him.  He may not know it but I do.  I listen to him as if he is sitting next to me trying to help me and it WORKS.  I am a sleep before I even know it.

After having my first child I learned that I am a person who needs sleep.  A lack of sleep causes me to stop functioning like a normal person and I slowly start losing it.  When I think I will not get enough sleep I begin to worry because I do not want to lose it.  When this starts to happen I just say a prayer and listen to the podcast.

My brother has a gift.  A gift that he loves so very much.  A gift that he excels in.  If you are like me and you toss and turn at night, I highly recommend you give this a shot.  You can join me and the thousands of people out there who are put to bed by my big brother. Heck you might even hear a story with me in it 🙂

website

copyright 2016 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

parenting, prayers, religion

What is Mercy and Do I Need It?

mercy

The world seems to be falling apart.  It seems like there is nothing that can be done. Sometimes I fear for the world my children will grow up in.  We can’t control anything happening in the world.
We CAN control what we teach our children.  Starting from when they are born.  We can show them compassion, empathy and mercy.  We can teach them about what is going on in the world but also teach them love not hate.

Mercy is having compassion for others; especially those you may think do not deserve it. It is not always easy to have mercy so we must practice it.  Our children need to see us showing compassion to one another.

My mom is great at mercy.  She shows love to everyone even when you know it can’t be easy.  She always says about those she shows mercy to that they were the ones who needed it the most.  It isn’t easy following in those footsteps, but I try.  She tells me when my children are driving me crazy and I want to beat them, I need to just hug them.  So I hug and hug a little more.  I show them mercy.

If each one of us just tries to show a tiny ounce of mercy to those who we actually think does not deserve it, we may just see the change we hope for the world.  Those who push people around and are mean could really use our mercy but you know what?  Every one of us sins so each of us at one time or another could use a little mercy and compassion.

Pope Francis announces this the year of Mercy.

Learn more here;
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
Catholic News Service

copyright 2016 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent