inspiration, mental health

I am an Introvert

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This quote or statement really hits home for me. People called me shy, stuck up, antisocial and many other things through the years. Growing up with a small group of friends, I often got overwhelmed at large gatherings.

I grew up in a large family and I had one cousin I clung to at family functions. When alone I would stand off to the side and just observe. I never understood why until recently. I had no clue I was an introvert but now it makes sense and helps me to understand myself a little more.

However, my husband is an extrovert, from a long line of extroverts. He does not understand the different sides of me at all. When he first met me he saw me in action with my close knit group of friends. Around them I was outgoing and social. Then he came to a family wedding with me and the introvert came out full blast. He got confused when all of the sudden I was shy and quiet. This was my family and he was the one who was the life of the party. How could that be? At the time I couldn’t explain it. I thought it was because my family were drinkers and with a dad who no longer drank I felt uncomfortable in those situations.

All my life I have cared for those around me. I have always put others before myself as far back as when I learned to speak. My parents say that when my brother and I were little I would translate for my brother. We are twins. He would scream something out and I would explain what he wanted. I spent my younger years always looking out for those around me and trying to help them. I felt drained, sad and hopeless more times than not. Now I realize it was because I didn’t take the time to take care of myself. It didn’t matter what was going on in my life or how I was feeling. I would find a way to put all my stuff aside to care for those around me.

My husband also doesn’t understand how I will go up to a complete stranger and say something but then say I am an introvert. I have learned to be more extroverted when it is called for. You would never know or most of the time you can’t tell but I quickly get drained and run down after. It has taken us many years to understand why I act the way I do and my husband tries hard to understand. However, I think it is easier for introverts to understand extroverts than for extroverts to understand introverts.

So if you are an extrovert please don’t take offense when we want to stay home or avoid doing certain things. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with us.

This covid virus has turned so many people’s worlds upside down, yet in the beginning I tended to be the happiest I have been in a long time. Why you ask? For the first time since I got married I had no place to go, no events to attend and my weekends were free. I got to stay in the comfort of my home and I loved it. This did not mean I didn’t love our family or friends. I love them with all my heart. It was just a simple introvert loving her time finally as just an introvert and nothing else. Ahh.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration, mental health, parenting

Change

Are you ready for change? I know I am. So as you all know I have been struggling to decide what to do with myself and my future. I have spent my life being passionate about helping others and that continues to be my goal. Yet, some things have changed. The big change is finding out how as an adult with grown children I am going to help others?

Well through the past few years I have come to learn that I am an empath. What that means for me is I can feel what others are feeling. Not necessarily exactly what you may be feeling but I can connect close enough. When those around me are sad, hurt or angry I can sense that feeling come over me. I want to use that gift to be here to assist you.

I have faced struggles at many different times in my life and I want to be your coach to help you get through those times too. Whether it be taking care of someone you love, being a new parent, raising kids, a teen or anyone for that matter feeling depressed, worthless or anxious, losing a loved one, struggling with an addiction, being over weight or whatever, I am going get you through it.

How am I going to do this? Well I was thinking of making a podcast. I have never done it so it will be an adventure but that will be a free tool people can use. A tool that you can easily access whenever you need to.

I am also training in tools that I can help people in person with, such as; meditation, tai-chi, aromatherapy and reiki.

I hope you will join me on this amazing journey and I hope that this is my way to help those out there who need help and can’t seem to find it.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration, parenting

Success

I have been struggling with this word for years now. Society makes one believe that your success is based on your worth and what you have. Well if one is not working then you could say they have no success. To be viewed as having no success is not a good feeling at all.

Today’s conversation when with others at gatherings is usually, “So what do you do for a living?” “How does that job pay?” I currently do not have an income therefore I don’t fell like I have much to give to the conversation.

Not having an income does not mean I do not have a job. I have a very challenging job. I am a stay at home mom in more of the traditional view. Again, in today’s society, thanks to many different shows, one could view a stay at home mom as someone who has a nanny, maid, spends their time working out or shopping. I do not fit into that category at all.

I am the one raising my children. They have never been to daycare or had a nanny. Heck, they have barely ever had a babysitter. When they have has a babysitter it is with my in-laws or parents, which I am very grateful for. I am the cook, housekeeper, chauffer, counselor, and whatever else they need. My job is very important, my children. I am the one teaching them morals, values and discipline. I take this job very seriously.

However, my children are all in school now so I have realized I would like to return to the workforce at least part-time. I would not want to work full-time because they still need me. They have the summers off, vacations, sick days and plenty of after school activities. I have asked them if they would be ok with me going to work and they have all said they would rather me be home for them so that is still my main objective.

I have a degree in social work and realized I missed that so I looked into getting a social work job. In NJ you need to be licensed to get a social work job. You have to have your MSW to get a social work license. I have a BSW. I decided to take a MSW class to see if that is something I want to pursue and I realized I do not want to go for my MSW. So now what!!

I am exploring different avenues and trying to find what I enjoy. I am currently learning about aromatherapy. In one of the books I am studying, Business Mastery, by Cherie M Sohnen-Moe, it talks about what success means to each of us. Is it how much we make, how we look or what we own? Is it something to achieve or a way of living?

I realized that success to me is about who I am and who my children are. How my children behave when they are away from me shows how successful I am. They are my true success. My husband tries to remind me of that whenever I am getting down. He tells me what an amazing mom I am and how wonderful our kids are.

So while I may still be in pursuit of a career path, I realize that having a job that pays me money does not mean I have no worth or that I am not successful. I can hold my head high when I am in conversations now about careers and money. At this point I am very successful and no money in the world could buy what I have. I have children who know how to treat others, respect their elders and hopefully be able to live on their own at some point. They have great values and morals.

Your success isn’t in how much money you are making or how high up the ladder you are at a business. It is how you treat those around you. What are you doing to make yourself better? Look inside, now that you have this time and see if you have reached the success of values and morals. If not then get to work!!!

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration, mental health, parenting, prayers, religion

Finding My Way out of Darkness

Through my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression.  When I was younger there were some dark times that I fought through.  Watching Oprah’s TV show introduced me to self-help and I began keeping a quote book and encouraging things.  I also relied on prayer to pull me out.

When I became a mom I ended up having to have a c-section and I was trying to breastfeed.  A lack of sleep became a given and it changed me.  I was sad most of the time and just felt like a different person.  I tried to put on the happy face around others but when alone there was no smiling at all.  My husband and I wanted to have another child but I told him I needed counseling first.  This counselor seemed to be making things worse.  She agreed with all my struggles and wanted me to just change situations I was in when I was not capable of changing them.  Once again I found myself turning to God and positive quotes.  I also joined a woman’s group at my church.  I found may way through again.

Through the years I have had my ups and downs and when I am down I have tried counseling but recently our insurance changed and counseling was going to cost us a pretty penny.  So less than a year ago I felt myself falling deep into my dark hole.  My in-laws attend a church that offers counseling for just a donation.  I looked to the Catholic Church to help.  Where I was living free counseling would be out of the question.  It was going to cost close to $125 an hour.  Are you serious?  How are people able to afford this?This made me mad and sad.  How can my religion not help me?  My local priest was willing to meet with me but I wanted someone I didn’t know personally.

I began praying and asking God to lead me where he wanted me to be.  Please help me find a way out of this.  I want to be better for my children.  My older brother gave me the gift of meditation for Christmas and I found myself doing that daily.  It really got me into an almost trans-like state.  This led me to reaching out to a friend of mine who has found peace and relief through Reiki.  A few years ago when she just began training, she practiced on me and I remember having the same calming feeling I had when I meditated.  I asked her if she would train me and thanks to her help I became certified in Reiki level I.

During this time I also went on a woman’s retreat and was introduced to Tai Chi.  Tai chi is like meditative movement.  This seemed to fit together with everything else I was learning and was similar, yet different tools I could use to help me.

God led me to these tools to help me and they were working.  I also remembered I use to love using essential oils to help me and the kids.  So I dug out my oils and began using them.  Peace was finding it’s way back into my life.  God has answered my prayers in a way that I didn’t expect but was grateful for.

So as I continue to learn more about these tools I am hoping that not only will I help myself but I can help others in similar situations find tools they can empower themselves with.  Stay tuned for future post on these different tools/blessings.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

inspiration

I’m back

So I have been on a bit of a hiatus.  I like to write when something moves me and for the past two years politics and our country have been at the forefront of my thoughts.  I was advised by someone dear to me to keep politics separate from my posts but I honestly can’t.

There are very few people I can actually talk to about my thoughts.  This site is me, my thoughts and my computer.  I share my views.  People can take what they want and leave what they don’t.  So I figure this is a great place to just share my thoughts.

I’ve said in the past my thoughts are just that mine.  They are not right or wrong but my ideas or views.  I am not trying to push them on anyone.  I just hope maybe it will open at least one person’s thoughts or views to a possible new way.

Feels so good to be back 🙂

 

 

 

 

copyright 2018 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, mental health, parenting

Sleep With Me Podcast

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Growing up, my older brother and I were not very close.  We did not start becoming close until we were both in college.  When we did start becoming closer I realized my brother and I faced some of the same struggles in life.  What to do with the rest of our lives?  We had both been in more than one career field and we still were not sure.

Then we had children.  Parenting can be a real challenge but I think we were both doing a pretty good job at it.  Our kids got to see each other about once a year in the summer. During that time my big brother would do his best and see to it that I got some kind of break.  (I had two boys close in age and then added a little girl.  My hands were full.)

He often read them stories or told them stories at nap time or bedtime and he actually got them to sleep.  I was amazed.  In the summer they never wanted to nap or go to bed for me.  He had a gift but at the time I do not know if I or any of us realized what a blessing his gift really was.

Now jump ahead a few years.  I turned to him because I wanted to create a webpage where I could share what I was learning as a new mom and as a Catholic mom.  I wanted my big brother’s thoughts.  It turned out that during that time he had already created his Sleep With Me Podcast but it was still a hidden gem to most.  He was doing it because he wanted to and not to win anyone’s approval.  Good for you big brother!

I started listening to it here and there.  As a mom sometimes shutting my brain off and getting to sleep could be a real challenge.  I often would listen to the Rosary and sometimes I still do.  Yet, now I have my big brother.

I am a person all about bonding with loved ones.  It has always been my thing.  I feel like I don’t get the opportunity to bond with my siblings as much as I would like and often wished that could be different.  However, it is what it is.  Yet, now I feel like I am bonding more with my oldest brother.  At night when I am stressed and cannot get to sleep I turn to him.  He may not know it but I do.  I listen to him as if he is sitting next to me trying to help me and it WORKS.  I am a sleep before I even know it.

After having my first child I learned that I am a person who needs sleep.  A lack of sleep causes me to stop functioning like a normal person and I slowly start losing it.  When I think I will not get enough sleep I begin to worry because I do not want to lose it.  When this starts to happen I just say a prayer and listen to the podcast.

My brother has a gift.  A gift that he loves so very much.  A gift that he excels in.  If you are like me and you toss and turn at night, I highly recommend you give this a shot.  You can join me and the thousands of people out there who are put to bed by my big brother. Heck you might even hear a story with me in it 🙂

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copyright 2016 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

inspiration

The Beauty of a Butterfly

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I love butterflies but the reason why might surprise you.  Growing up I always saw myself as having no purpose in life and I often felt ugly.  When I wasn’t feeling ugly about my physical looks I felt ugly on the inside.  I never thought I would be good enough.  I thought about how life would be without me in it and honestly I thought people would be better off.  I thought God got me wrong.  My parents weren’t expecting to have me, I was born a twin.  I was the unexpected surprise.  So maybe God got it wrong.

One thing is for sure, God never gets it wrong!

As I got older I had to figure a way out of feeling like this.  I watched Oprah a lot and learned about self-help and felt like I could figure it out on my own.

Growing up I heard the story of ‘The Ugly Duckling’ often but that never really connected to me.  Something that did connect for me was butterflies.  I always loved butterflies because of their beauty but then I really thought about where they come from.  I thought of caterpillars as ugly.  To me they were not as beautiful as a butterfly.  So that must be God’s plan for all of us.  We all at one time or another have felt ugly, even if the people around us may not see it.  For some if feels longer than others.  Heck, you may think you are never going to get to that beautiful stage, but guess what?  You are beautiful even if you don’t see it.
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God truly created each and every one of us for a certain reason and to be beautiful.  He wishes we all could see the beauty he sees.

If you are questioning your purpose in life or not loving what you see in the mirror, pray for clarity and don’t give up on life.  God is always there for us even if we don’t realize it. He will help you see the beauty if you let him.  Look at a beautiful butterfly and know that you are just as beautiful for being you.  Or look at the ugly caterpillar and cheer it on to becoming what it is meant to be.  You will get there just like the caterpillar.  Keep your faith.  Keep your hope.  Most importantly keep on loving yourself as you are today.

God help us to see the beauty that you see in each of us.  Please put in our path those who are going to lift us up and not tear us down.  Thank you for each day you give to us and the opportunity it brings.

copyright 2016 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, religion

Sharing the Christmas Spirit

As Christmas approaches I have created a calendar to teach my children about sharing the true meaning of Christmas.  I want to teach my children to love one another and to take care of fellow humans.

Here is a calendar for the month of December with little things we all can do to help make the world a better place. It all starts at home.

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copyright 2015 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent

grateful, inspiration, parenting, prayers

Admiration for Single Parents

042012_Disney_Channel_Premieres_Animated_Series_GoofTroop_TDIDTo all those single or almost single parents out there; I admire you. I wish I could give you the break you so rightfully deserve.

There have been days, like today, where from the time the kids get up to the time they go to bed it is all on me. They have to be in different places and I have to get them there. I also think they know Daddy isn’t going to be around because man are they acting up.
I keep my cool through most of it but by the time dinner is over (I let them pick the dinner to try to make it special) I am at my wit’s end and barely hanging on. I tell myself just a little longer. I can do this.

It is only one day. By the time they wake up daddy will be back and can help me out again. I am lucky it is only one day. I can’t imagine surviving more than one. Yet, there are moms and dads out there that have to. They have to go day in and day out without the support of their spouse or the other parent. My prayers go out to you all.

So the next time you are on the verge of losing it, wanting to give up or feeling alone, know that prayers are being sent your way. You are not alone. Step back, take 5 deep breaths, say a prayer or go stick your face in a pillow and scream. Whatever will help you get through this moment. You can get through it. Heck, post on here and if I see it or others see it we can cheer you on.

copyright 2015 Sheila M Scarpulla. All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, parenting

Simple Living Without The Stuff

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I once heard a story about a lady who only had one box of all her belongings.  I definitely need a lot more than just one box for all my belongings.  What if something ever happened to me?  How hard would it be on my loved ones to clear out all my stuff?  How painful would that be?  Do I truly need or even use all the stuff I own?

I have always known that less stuff leads to less clutter which can lead to less stress. However, in this day in age it is so hard not to get wrapped up with the idea of ‘keeping up with the Jones’.  I sometimes feel like I am being a bad mom if I don’t let my kids have birthday parties with lots of guests and presents or having the coolest, most popular toys.

Is that what life is truly about?  Is it about having the best of the best or the most?  I want my kids to value relationships and time spent with those people.  I want them to have happy memories of their childhood.  That won’t happen with a mom screaming at them all the time to pick up their stuff.  How can I set an example if I have stuff all over the place?  How many casserole dishes does one person need?  I don’t even make casseroles.

So I am slowly making changes.

I am also trying to teach my children how much I do love them and that no object on earth can show them that.  What I can show them is me working on yelling less and spending more time with them.  Having less materialistic stuff and more family time together shows them the love I want them to know.  They will remember the movies we watch together or the games we play instead of stuff all over the place.

How much of what you have do you truly need or love?  Why are you holding on to it? How freeing would it be to let go of one thing at a time?  Let’s share thoughts and ideas with each other.

copyright 2015 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent