I have been struggling with what to say about the recent avoidable death of George Floyd. I can’t stomach to watch the video of his murder and I am broken hearted for this world. I try to teach my children to love others as themselves and to not judge a person by the outside but how they are on the inside, that is what matters.
I can’t believe that in the year 2020 we are still fighting a race battle. I can’t believe there are people living in fear simply because of the color of their skin. How can that be?
As a mother I think that kids absorb everything that goes on around them and that they learn how to be and act towards others. Not everyone has been blessed by parents like mine who showed love to all those around them and it didn’t matter what color, gender, abilities or disabilities or financial status you have. Now my children also are blessed to be taught that but not everyone is so lucky. I have no clue what kind of upbringing others have had to make them feel the way they feel towards others. I try to teach those I know by my actions and words.
So I have been praying for our country and world and trying to figure out what to say. Then one night I got a recommendation for a movie I might like on Hulu called The Cokeville Miracle. This is about the power of prayer and that hatred will not change anything but prayer can.
An outcry for change has come from so many deaths but George Floyd’s horrible death, on camera has pushed people to their limits. Now we have protests, riots, looting and more deaths. People are filled with hate and anger but where does that get us? No where good.
So if you are feeling anger, hatred, sadness, fear, or anything pray on it. Ask God to help us change, to help us be better. Change apparently will not happen over night or even in a year from now but change can happen one person at a time. Each of us can choose to be better, to act better. Please don’t doubt the power of prayer and try to believe in miracles because prayers do get answered and miracles do happen.
To all those who are hurting right now please know that I am praying for us all and I won’t stop. May God hear our cries, and help make our country and world a better and safer place.
Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla. All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent.
Let me first start off by saying this entry is not to judge anyone but to give a different perspective on things.
It seems like I have heard of transgender for as long as I can remember. I remember learning about Chasity Bono wanting to become Chaz Bono. My view had always been it’s your business, who am I to judge. I never really thought about it.
Then recently I saw a post on Facebook about the family Lemay. They have a five-year old daughter who they are raising as a transgender. The question on Facebook was what we thought about it. My heart felt for the parents. My first reaction was how much they must love their child to do whatever was needed to see their child happy. The other comments that were posted shocked me. They shocked me to the point that I removed myself from the conversation. People called them abusive and horrible parents for doing such a thing.
Watching Bruce Jenner on the Kardashian show has always fascinated me. He seemed like such a loving man but you could see something was going on with him emotionally. I recorded his interview with Diane Sawyer and my heart broke for him. You could see the pain in his eyes. My initial thought was that I applauded him for what he was doing and the courage to do it. Yet now that he has transitioned to her my tune is changing a little.
First, when Caitlyn finally revealed herself why did she have to do it in lingerie? I don’t care how classy you think it was done. Why couldn’t she have the cover be in one of the beautiful dresses she wore for the shoot? I was saddened by that. I felt that it was no longer about the transformation of this person but more about their physical changes. I don’t think whether or not he/she had breast surgery done or sexual reassignment surgery is what it should have been about but the support of him simply becoming a her.
Second, the image of a boy or girl and the stereotypes of being a boy or girl have been created by society. We are at fault. As early as the hospital, each baby is labeled. God created each of us. He gave us a sexual gender as we know it (boy or girl). Yet, some people relate better to the opposite sex or feel as though they should have been different.
I took a course in college called Psychology of Women. In that class we talked about teaching our kids to be gender neutral and not pushing girls to play with ‘girl’ stuff or dress like a typical ‘girl’. I thought it was a great idea and that we all should be doing that. Yet, when I had kids things changed. Even before the child is born we ‘pick a color’ to paint the room and register for gifts. It is so hard to stay neutral. Yes, I know some who have managed to at least start off gender neutral but it doesn’t seem to last. We have been programmed to define ourselves as a lady or a gentleman and if you are not you get picked on or judge.
I grew up with 5 brothers and I loved doing what the boys did and playing with the toys they played with. Hey, my mom did a great job now that I think about it. I wore a lot of my brother’s stuff. Did you know that boy and girl jeans button differently? I didn’t learn that until high school when I bought my first pair of ‘girl’ jeans. I couldn’t believe it. I would have been considered on tomboy and I was proud of it. Granted I didn’t feel like I was a boy living in a girl’s body but did I sure envy the boys. I thought they had it so easy compared to everything girls had to go through.
My point is that I wish people didn’t feel like they had to go to such drastic measures to change who they are. Yes, Bruce Jenner had the money to forge ahead with surgeries but many don’t.
I truly am not sure how I feel about this subject anymore. I don’t know if I can say I agree with the family that decided to change their daughter’s name and whole image. I do know that I will try my hardest not to judge and I will teach my children not to judge another person. If there is a girl who has the image of a ‘tomboy’ or a boy who may have long hair, we have to love them and accept them. It isn’t about what we see but who they are. We have to learn to see past the outside. If we can learn to not judge based on outward appearances maybe those who feel trapped in their own bodies will be able to find a little more peace.
I hope that as parents we teach our kids acceptance. To accept each other for WHO they are not what they look like. If my son wants to have long hair or wear nail polish I hope he won’t be judged. If my daughter wants to have buzzed hair or not wear dresses I will love her for her. Maybe it isn’t about going to such drastic measures to change ourselves but embrace who we are and learn to love ourselves the way we are.
No matter what I hope for anyone who feels they are a transgender we can accept you for whatever you chose. We can learn to not judge but understand and to love, not hate one another.
copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla. All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent
This week we received some heartbreaking news, the loss of a young male relative to an overdose of Heroin. He had been struggling as many do but was unable to win the battle. My heart immediately broke for him, his parents and his siblings. I know so many who have fought the battle against drugs or alcohol and many have won. Yet, when the battle is lost there are no words.
I recently spoke with some family members who have teenagers about how their behavior is so different when they become teens. They don’t want to listen, talk or do what is asked. I think this is true for the majority of preteens and teens. I know I was one of them (sorry Mom and Dad). So my husband and I decided that maybe talking to our kids now when they are listening is the way to go.
So when my boys (8 and 9) got home from school I told them we needed to talk. I had my sunglasses still on from being outside and my older son thought it was to hide my tears. It went something like this; I told them that a distant family member died from drugs. The young man was about the same age as their uncle. This made it more relatable. “When you get older you may or may not meet people or have so-called ‘friends’ who want you to ‘try’ something. It may be drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. It will be made to look cool. You may be made to feel uncool if you don’t try it. However, by trying it your body may act like it likes it until it no longer has it. Then the cycle begins. Your body then thinks it NEEDS it. If you don’t have it you get really sick. So you try to get it.”
I explained that it may start with kids who take their mommy or daddy’s medicine when they aren’t supposed to. “When you have surgery (like mommy did when she had them) the doctor gives you medicine for the pain. You are only supposed to take the medicine when you are in pain. When the pain stops you are not supposed to take more. If you take the medication when the doctor hasn’t told you to your body reacts differently. Your body may want more and what happens when there is no more? That is when the kids learn about Heroin because it can be easier to get and can cost less money. BUT it can also kill you.
When I was a kid we were not faced with these temptations. Heroin and Crack seemed to be only for rich people or famous people but times have changed. I want you to know how much we (and God) love you and how much drugs can ruin your life. You lie, cheat, steal and can go to jail for the drugs. Once you have been in jail that can affect you the rest of your life. You may not see the effect now but when you meet the girl you want to marry and start a family with you may not be able to get the right job to support your new family.
I won’t be there with you when you are tempted but I hope you remember now. My tears are those of love and fear. We love you with all our heart and life wouldn’t be the same without you in it. Never forget that.”
God, please be with this family who lost their loved one so young. Help them through this unimaginable time. Help all those who are facing addictions of any kind. Be by the side of those who are about to be tempted for the first time. Help them to realize it isn’t worth it. Watch over all those who are struggling and all those who love them.
Since finding out about Diem Brown’s death last weekend I have been working on a blog entry and I lost all that work last night on my computer. Today when I realized it I was angry. I had spent days re-watching her time on MTV and remembering how wonderful she was. All my thoughts that I had documented were gone.
Yet, now I realize maybe it was a blessing. That entry was going to be pretty much a timeline of her time on MTV and what made her so special for every show she was on. If my readers still want that then please let me know and I will do it again.
Instead I just want to write so that her life and death get the recognition she deserves. She was an inspiration not only to me but I am sure so many out there. She fought until her last breath and her life was ended way too soon. We may never know why but I know that she got her golden wings and she has no more pain. All her family and friends have one special angel looking over them now.
For those who met her you truly were blessed. If she impacted me just from the TV, I can only imagine how special it was to know her personally.
I first saw Diem on MTV’s Fresh Meat challenge back in 2006. She was the girl that I wanted to hate but couldn’t because of who she was. Not only was she beautiful with the perfect body but her heart seemed to be just as beautiful. She was the girl that I would want my daughter to look up to. She is the role model our society needs. On that first season was when she was open about her cancer.
After that show is when she came back for the Duel and the romance between her and CT (Chris Tamburello) began. They had me hooked along with the rest of the world. She also showed what a true fighter she was. She choose to take her wig off (she lost her hair from the chemo and it had just started growing back) for the first time on national television. I kept watching every Challenge show that MTV put on just to see them.
I am so glad I got the opportunity to watch her on TV. She also started a webpage called Medgift to help people suffering like she was. It is so interesting that she did this because I was telling my husband over the summer how I would love to donate money to those who are actually suffering from an illness then to multi-billion dollar companies. Well she did it!!! So you can go to her page to show your support today just click on the Medgift above.
May God be there for all those who loved her. May he help them all through this difficult time and may her legacy live on. She was a gift given to us that had been taken too soon. May her blessing continue to live on for generations to come. Suffer no more Diem.
copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent