I am an Introvert

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This quote or statement really hits home for me. People called me shy, stuck up, antisocial and many other things through the years. Growing up with a small group of friends, I often got overwhelmed at large gatherings.

I grew up in a large family and I had one cousin I clung to at family functions. When alone I would stand off to the side and just observe. I never understood why until recently. I had no clue I was an introvert but now it makes sense and helps me to understand myself a little more.

However, my husband is an extrovert, from a long line of extroverts. He does not understand the different sides of me at all. When he first met me he saw me in action with my close knit group of friends. Around them I was outgoing and social. Then he came to a family wedding with me and the introvert came out full blast. He got confused when all of the sudden I was shy and quiet. This was my family and he was the one who was the life of the party. How could that be? At the time I couldn’t explain it. I thought it was because my family were drinkers and with a dad who no longer drank I felt uncomfortable in those situations.

All my life I have cared for those around me. I have always put others before myself as far back as when I learned to speak. My parents say that when my brother and I were little I would translate for my brother. We are twins. He would scream something out and I would explain what he wanted. I spent my younger years always looking out for those around me and trying to help them. I felt drained, sad and hopeless more times than not. Now I realize it was because I didn’t take the time to take care of myself. It didn’t matter what was going on in my life or how I was feeling. I would find a way to put all my stuff aside to care for those around me.

My husband also doesn’t understand how I will go up to a complete stranger and say something but then say I am an introvert. I have learned to be more extroverted when it is called for. You would never know or most of the time you can’t tell but I quickly get drained and run down after. It has taken us many years to understand why I act the way I do and my husband tries hard to understand. However, I think it is easier for introverts to understand extroverts than for extroverts to understand introverts.

So if you are an extrovert please don’t take offense when we want to stay home or avoid doing certain things. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with us.

This covid virus has turned so many people’s worlds upside down, yet in the beginning I tended to be the happiest I have been in a long time. Why you ask? For the first time since I got married I had no place to go, no events to attend and my weekends were free. I got to stay in the comfort of my home and I loved it. This did not mean I didn’t love our family or friends. I love them with all my heart. It was just a simple introvert loving her time finally as just an introvert and nothing else. Ahh.

Copyright 2020 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

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