You’re Not You and The Theory of Everything

Your Not You           Theory of Everything

I recently finished watching ‘You’re Not You’ with Hilary Swank.  It is about a woman who gets ALS and her caretaker.  Watching her slowly lose her ability to move may leave you feeling stunned.

ALS stands for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis which is also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.  You probably have heard of it before.  You also may know of it from the ice bucket challenge that went viral last summer.  However, do you really comprehend what it is?  I didn’t until I saw this movie.

To watch someone slowly lose all the abilities most of us take for granted every day is unimaginable.  How quickly your whole life can change.  In a blink of an eye your whole world can be turned upside down.

Then I watched ‘The Theory of Everything’ which is about Stephen Hawking’s life story. This is another amazing movie about ALS that may leave you admiring not only Stephen Hawking but also his wife Jane.  She stood by his side through it all until he left her.  She shows what it truly means to be in a committed marriage.  They worked through all the obstacles that came their way.

ALS is a rapidly progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord that are responsible for controlling voluntary muscles.  The neurons deteriorate and die which stops sending messages to the muscles.  The muscles then weaken and deteriorate.  Those with ALS lose the ability to move, eat, speak and eventually breathe.  Many people with ALS die from respiratory failure.  The average life span from the onset of symptoms is 3 to 5 years but some live much longer.

ALS has gotten more attention in recent years but there is still a long way to go with research.  For more information please visit;

ALS Association

National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes

copyright 2015 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.

parenting, religion

My Struggle Going to Church

Sunday at church I struggled.  I had to fight back my tears and when I finally got home I sat in my room crying.  Church should lift you up.  If you are brought to tears I would hope they would be the tears of joy, not sadness.  Yet, mine were the later.

My husband currently does not go to church with us.  If I want my children to go to church I bring them.  Unfortunately, we are not usually able to get to the children’s mass.  Therefore, the mass we attend usually has only a handful of children at it.

I usually bring things like a children’s mass book or a coloring book to keep the youngest occupied, but on this day I was rushed and had nothing on me.  The older two I simply explain to them that God gave us everything we have so we can at least give him an hour out of our week.  I ask them to be on their best behavior.  It’s hard though.  I understand that.  That is why I enjoyed attending a Protestant church in the past because they seemed to make going to church fun.  You wanted to be there.

As I have learned more about my religion I have come to love the beauty of the mass and love being there.  Plus at our current church they have some great music that the kids and I love.  Yet, my children are just that, children and I don’t expect them to always be perfect but close would be nice.  I never know going into church if it will be a good day or bad day.  Will the children behave and sit still or not?

This time it is was a bad day.  My children were bothering each other all through mass and my middle child (R) was acting out for attention so bad.  How do parents do it?  How do those of you who have children with ADD or ADHD make it through mass?

I have been told my son does not have either ADD or ADHD by his teachers and counselors but on this day I wondered if they were wrong.  If they weren’t wrong why was he not listening?  The worst part of it all is my anxiety got the best of me.  I felt like everyone was staring at us and snickering and I told him he was humiliating me.  Who does that?  How dare I say that to him, but I did.  I did and felt horrible.

Here we were in God’s house and I just felt negative all around me and in me.  God gave me three beautiful children and here I was in his house unable to get them to behave.  I was saying not nice things and making empty threats.  No wonder my husband doesn’t come to church with us.  He doesn’t have time to deal with all this and on this day I don’t blame him.

How do I make it better?  How do I move forward and look forward to next Sunday?  I may not know the answer but I do know that I won’t stop trying.  I will do what I know best; pray.  I will pray for all of us and everyone at church.  I will pray and pray and pray.  I will also keep trying.  I know I can find patience within me somehow some way.

If anyone has ever felt close to what I was feeling I would love to hear from you.  If you have any tips that have worked for you that would be wonderful to hear too.
Thank you for listening.

copyright 2015 Sheila M Scarpulla.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction without written consent.