To Whom It May Concern

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This is a letter I wrote to the Catholic Church a few years ago.  I sent it to my church and the Bishop of Newark’s office.

I am not sure who to send this to so I am sending it to anyone who might listen.  I love God and love being a Catholic.  However, that has not always been the case.

I grew up in the Catholic school system and one of the things I got from it was if you kiss a boy you were going to hell.  (Now that probably wasn’t what was being said but that is what I heard.)

I always had a profound faith and belief in God, Jesus, Mary and the saints.  But I always said to myself “I must not be Catholic if I don’t believe my God would send me to hell for kissing a boy.”

That is when I found myself saying I was spiritual not religious.

Then I met my husband and his family.  They were raised Catholic but some of them have since left the Church for other churches.  I told them I was raised Catholic but was more spiritual.  After that I found myself going to church with them and listening when they told me what was different between the churches.  I then began my journey learning about other churches but also the Catholic Church.

I have found my way back and I am more Catholic than ever and I love my religion.

My reason for writing is to express a wish for the Catholic Church to reach out better to the children, young people and those who are lost.  I have three small children and I want them to grow up feeling the love I now have for being Catholic.  I know it is my job but having help from my church would be great.

The Christian church my in-laws belong to have these awesome programs for kids and I just wish we had programs that made our religion fun and exciting, because it is.  I mean no disrespect to the Catholic Church at all.  I just feel a calling from God to reach those who don’t realize the Catholic Church is God’s church and it is awesome just like God!!

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

4 Things I am Not

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So you must be thinking to yourself “Who says that statement (What I am not)?”.  Well I have a very good reason for it.  I am not saying it to be a ‘Debbie Downer’.  As I begin this journey I want to be real.  If you are going to visit my webpage often I want you to know the truth about it.  The honest truth.

1.  I am not a professional writer and do not have my own editor or writer.  As you read you may come across wrong punctuation or incorrect grammar.  I apologize now and hope I get better and better at my English

2.  I am not an expert on the Catholic church.  I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school up to college (even though I think my college was too).  Yet, I have realized how little I truly know about the Church.  So as I learn all the wonderful stuff (and maybe not so wonderful) there is to know I want to share it.  It is then up to each of you to decide what you will do with that information.  I am not trying to make anyone believe what I do but I feel I should share with the hopes that it could help someone.

3.  When I became pregnant with my first child I had wanted to write a book and began but never finished.  Me being a mother to my newborn became more important.  Then shortly after I became pregnant again.  I have realized that I can share what I have wanted to without having to write it in a book.

4.  I am not a perfectionist and I like it that way.  My web page, my home, myself, and my family will never be perfect and I think that is OK.  I want to be accepted for what I am and not for what I am not.  I hope you will continue to come back and see how me and my page grow and change.

copyright 2014  Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

How Precious Life Is

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This week I have been debating on what to write about.  My youngest child turned 5 today so that is exciting news.  I had thought about fitting that in but I also received devastating news a few weeks ago and then again this past Sunday.

On Sept 29th, a woman that I went to high school with (Vicky Tully) and her 20 year old daughter Liz Tully were involved in a head on collision with a FED EX truck in the middle of the afternoon.  Vicky and the driver of the other vehicle (Kevin Frank) died at the scene and Liz was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.  Liz fought for almost 2 weeks for her life and on Oct 12th she passed away.  I felt the need to write about this also.

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So I have decided to incorporate both.

As my youngest child continues to grow up I find myself more times than not wanting to add to our family.  The desire comes and goes but I found myself in the most recent weeks with a hard time ignoring the desire of wanting another child.

I always wanted four children.  I am not sure why but that is the number I came up with at a very young age and it’s always stuck.  My husband had always wanted four also. That is until his baby girl was born and then he felt complete.  I still don’t feel complete at times.  I want to be complete but I feel like there is a missing link and I am not sure why.  So time and time again I think about the possibility of another child.

Then it seems something happens to remind me of what I have.  This heartbreaking tragedy that the Tully’s and Mr. Frank’s family are going through changed it for me.  I found myself on Sunday fighting back the tears.  I have been keeping my husband up to date on the accident and broke the news of Liz’s passing on Sunday.  I told him also how I had thought about asking him to really consider another child but after the most recent news I was grateful for the family I did have.

God has blessed me in more ways than I can count.  I try to always remember to thank him for all that I have.  Yet, here I am wanting more.  What right do I have to ask for more when so many are losing those they love?  We are all very healthy with no major medical issues.  Shouldn’t that be enough?  The answer is yes.  If God wanted me to add to the family he would see to it that it happened.  Whether or not that does ever happen I am grateful.  I will cherish what I do have and continue to work on making it the best life for us I can.

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This quote always impacts me.  We really need to focus on today because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

As you go through your day please keep the Tully and Frank families in your prayers and all those who have lost loved ones.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.  May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

 

Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

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I grew up believing in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.  I remember all the magic of the holidays.  Even when I figured out the truth I still went on hoping I was wrong and never letting go of the magic.

It seems that kids these days aren’t getting that.  Most of my nieces and nephews already know the truth and it seems many kids in my boys classes don’t believe anymore.  My heart is saddened to hear this.  Why let the magic and excitement die?  Luckily my husband and I are on the same page and will not take that from our kids as long as we can.

Yesterday my oldest child(9) said to me that he was told that Santa wasn’t real.  I asked him who told him that and he didn’t want to tell me, so I left it alone.  Well he decided to tell me that it was some friends at school.  So he came out and just asked if he was real and I said yes.  As soon as I said yes I began feeling so horrible for lying to him.

So I began some research into how others have dealt with this.  It seemed that the professionals believe that you should tell your child the truth even though it could be hard at first, it’s better not to lie to them.  Then there were other responses like, why not follow the child’s lead and see what they say.

When it was bed time that night I sat down to talk to my son about it.  I asked him what he thought was true and he said that he thought they were all real because I would never let him have that much candy.  I told him about the original ‘Santa Claus’ St. Nick.  I gave him a print out all about him and explained what he did.  I told him that I felt that if Santa knows you don’t believe in him anymore than he doesn’t need to deliver anymore gifts.  You will just get gifts from your family.  He told me that his friends parents told him to not look while they were putting presents out.  Yet, my son thought those were just presents from them not Santa.  I told him maybe parents can deliver them for Santa.

I also explained to him that if he has friends who are picking on him for what he believes in then maybe they aren’t the right friends for him.  He should have friends that accept him and what he believes in.  We don’t pick on anyone for believing in something different than us.  He said that they weren’t picking on him they were just talking about it.

I told him that some parents don’t want to take away from the attention that should be placed on the true meaning of each holiday.  They don’t want it all about presents.  I want my children to have the beauty of both worlds.  They need to know what each holiday is all about and what they can do for others during that time.  Yet, I want them to have the excitement, wonder and magic that comes from believing.  I want to see the magic in my kids eyes so I will try and keep it going for as long as I can.

The truth is while Santa is not everything that we are taught he is, there is a beautiful spirit during the holidays and that is the magic of ‘Santa’.  Many of us get to play the role and it is an awesome one.

I don’t believe that God has a problem with the way we celebrate the holidays.  I think he loves to see all the joy and excitement the holidays bring to the children.  To hear the laughter out of them.  As long as we are not making it all about the materialistic things and we show our children the true meaning.

We have open communication with our children.  I know that the day will come when they learn the truth and we will talk about it.  We will talk about the beauty of the spirit of the holidays and that the belief in the wonder of the holidays won’t hurt anyone.  I will always believe in the magic!

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

The Affects From Your Childhood

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This statement really has an impact on me as a mother.  As you know I am a stay-at-home mom and doing that job to the best of my abilities is so very important to me.  It’s so important to me that I often struggle with disappointing myself on not being the best mother my children deserve.

One of my biggest struggles right now is my relationship with my middle child.  I have this horrible fear that I am going to mess him up.  My first child is the almost (if not) ideal child.  He’s compassionate, smart, well-behaved, responsible, quiet….

Then my second son was born.  He was a wonderful baby but he suffered from his share of ear infections and was not fun when he was sick.  He is a ball of energy, athletic, thoughtful and loud.  He is the first to jump up and help me or anyone with anything they need.  You can see that he truly wants to make his parents proud of him.  He is loving and feels horrible if he hurts someone by accident.  (He doesn’t realize his own strength)

Yet, everyday after school is a battle between us.  He doesn’t want to do homework after school and it sucks cause he is only in second grade and has very little.  When he gets out of school he is full of so much energy and doesn’t know what to do with it.  I asked his kindergarten teacher how I am supposed to deal with a high energy kid and she asked who I was talking about because in school my son is well-behaved.  He listens and is on his best behavior so he saves all his energy for when he gets out.

More times than not he uses that energy for negative behavior.  He bothers his sister or just doesn’t want to listen to me.  I adore him and want him to grow to be the awesome man I know he can be but I feel like I don’t know how to help him get there.  He is the one I yell and scream at and threaten.  He is the child that when he goes to bed I whisper in his ear how sorry I am for not being the mom I should be.

He is my middle child that I do not want to see grow up and have ‘middle child syndrome’.  He has a niche in our family and he is loved so much by all of us.  Our life would be mundane without him in it.  I want him to know all this.  I want him to not feel left out or neglected but figuring out how seems to be my struggle.  When I think we have made headway and found a system that works for us I find out I was wrong.  The chaos begins again.

I simply have to pray.  I pray for him, his siblings and for me and my husband that we figure things out.  That we find what will make our family harmonious.  I put one foot in front of the other and never give up.  There is a solution and hopefully we find that sooner than later.  Any ideas??

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent