parenting

A REAL Housewife

 

So today I took my children to our town pool and while I was in the water with my three children I began to look around at all the other different type of mothers. I got thinking.

I watched the first season of Real Housewives of Orange County in 2006. I had a one year old and was a stay at home mom and couldn’t believe there was a show that was going to show what life was like. WOW WAS I WRONG!!!!!

You see when you think of a traditional housewife I am guessing you think; a married woman who stays at home, does the cleaning, cooking, etc., and does not have another job outside the home. That is the actual definition from the Webster dictionary. Well I grew up watching my mother do just that. She managed to do it all and raise 6 kids. She volunteered when able and that eventually led her to a full-time job when her children were a little older. She had worked before she had children but put her career as a paid nurse on hold for a time while she took care of us.

I knew at a young age that I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. Well I grew up, got married and was lucky enough to do that. I also got a college degree and worked full-time until my fist son was about to be born (just like her).

So, you can imagine how excited I was to watch this new show that was coming out. However, it was nothing like the definition and has seemed to get worse through the years. The show was made up of beautiful women, with almost perfect bodies, who worked and if they weren’t working they had full-time help raising the kids, some didn’t even have kids.

Now, I know that many families need both parents to work to make ends meet and I applaud them for that, but what about the rest?? Someone said you need both parents working in order to live in NJ and that is the farthest thing from the truth. My husband works and I am the caretaker of the family and home. I cook, clean, raise the kids, teach them religion and everything else that comes with it. When people ask if I am going to return to work when the kids are all in school I say no. My husband and I agree that I still need to continue the roll I have. Maybe while they are at school I will finally have the chance to get back to the gym to get my pre-kids body back.

It is possible to stay home. I don’t need my hair or nails done all the time. We don’t need a fancy car we can’t afford. I don’t buy my kids overly expensive gifts they don’t need and I sure as heck don’t throw outrageous parties for them either. It’s back to basics here. My kids know they are loved by their parents and that love and quality time are more important than materialistic things. I teach them that if they have things they don’t love they should pass it on to someone else so they can love it.

When you see me on the street you may look down on me for the clothes I wear or how I can’t get my baby weight off even though my daughter is turning 5 in Oct. I am also more often than not down on myself for those things. Yet, I have a happy, love filled family and I am the one that is getting to enjoy watching my children grow up and to know what truly is important in life. So, I will continue to try and not be self conscious of my figure from having children or the clothes I am wearing and be proud of the family that I am raising and all that I do get done for them!!!

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

 

 

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religion

Possibility of Change

 

For many of us we were born Catholic and spent our lives going to church willingly or being dragged by our parents. We go through the motions of what is expected at church and don’t necessarily understand what we are doing. Some of us just go to church but barely participate.

Do you understand why we do what we do at church and what things mean or represent?? Unfortunately I am sure many don’t. I have only begun to cut the surface of my questions.

Through the years when people haven’t agreed with how things have been done in the church they demanded change. If they didn’t get the change they wanted, they turned their backs, walked away and started a new church.

I won’t go into all the history but if you are interested I highly suggest you research how different religions were founded and by who. The one thing that is for sure is Jesus told Peter that he is the rock and upon the rock I will build my church. He choose 12 Apostles to teach and lead the way. He wanted one church and when we find ourselves not agreeing with the way things are done we need to pray for change not walk away.

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

religion

My Thoughts And Views Are Mine Alone

 

I realized that as I start this journey I should share a few things with all of you that I want you to know as you read my posts.

During my journey back to the Catholic Church the information I researched was mostly based in Christian denominations and not many others.  My thoughts, beliefs and views however, are mine alone and not those of any one person or organization.  While I hope maybe some thoughts I have will eventually be shared by the Catholic Church it does not mean they have them now.

 I have learned that God loves everyone and where there is love there is God.  God created each and everyone of us.  My thoughts are not to judge anyone or anything else.  It is not my place to judge since I am imperfect (even though we all have judge at some point).  I am not trying to get anyone to change religions or am I saying other religions are wrong.  I am simply sharing my own views and realizations with the hope of making people more open minded about the Catholic Church.

 

 

copyright 2014  Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, parenting

Cleaning

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After my first son was born I found that trying to recover from surgery, nursing and taking care of a new born, entertaining all the people who wanted to see my first born and maintaining my house was becoming impossible.  I did have wonderful help from my parents and my in-laws but I realize I had to figure out how to handle everything on my own.

I turned to my mom for advice on maintaining my house since she did raise six kids. She told me to check out a certain lady….Flylady.  I thought she must be crazy but she said give it a chance and so I did.  Flylady has change my life. She has been a lifesaver when I have needed it.  She teaches you how to get rid of all the junk in your house and how to break up the house so it becomes more bearable.  So I highly suggest checking out Flylady.  Of all the wonderful things she has taught me the thing I love the most is that we need to let go of our need for materialistic things.  If we don’t love it we need to get it out of our house.  I know I find myself yelling all the time about picking up the things lying around the house and I would rather be spending my time doing something fun with my kids.  If you do check her out I would love to hear what you think. Now you have to have an open mind and give it a few months but I keep going back to her after 13 yrs.  I may not follow her every day but when I feel I am drowning in a dirty house she comes to my rescue.  Now get cleaning!!!!!

Her website is; www.flylady.net

copyright 2014 Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent

inspiration, religion

Get Up And Try Again

keep-calm-get-up-and-try-again

So my take off didn’t go to well.  When I began my new journey I had an infant and two toddlers to deal with so trying to fit in blogging was a challenge.  However, now my baby is 4 and I now have more time to devout to my blog and writing about all the wonderful (and not so wonderful) things I have discovered.  So I will try again.
As I try to balance all the aspects of being a stay-at-home mom and learning to keep my sanity I have found it has been a huge challenge.  Yet, I have learned to embrace it and make the most from it.  Everyday is a learning experience and I have been learning so much.  Not only am I learning to be a parent I have also been on an eye-opening religious journey.  Two years ago I shared my story on a retreat and I would like to share parts of it with all of you.  Maybe it will help you to understand my journey a little more.

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Finding My Way Home:  As a young girl I went to Catholic school.  By the time I got to high school I began questioning my beliefs and not finding answers.  The message I was hearing was that not only would I go to hell for having sex but that I was going to hell for kissing a boy.  Why would God send me to hell for that??  I never questioned God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or Mary but the message I was getting from the Catholic school.  It was different from what I thought an all loving God was so I considered myself more spiritual.

My husband’s siblings have all left the Catholic church and joined other Christian churches.  When I met them they asked what religion I was.  I told them I was raised Catholic but was more spiritual and wasn’t sure anymore.  So then they asked me to go to church with them which I did.  I loved all the singing and dancing there and thought maybe this could be the church for me.

All my life I knew I wanted to be a mother.  I felt a calling to be a mom but I was hit with the reality that what happens in your childhood will affect you the rest of your life.  I wondered what church should I bring my children to?  Do I bring them to my in-laws church where at least I know I won’t have to go to church alone or do I continue on with the catholic church but know it will be a lonely journey (or so I thought) since I am the only Catholic in the family who goes to church weekly.  I wanted to find answers so I wasn’t always second guessing myself and I didn’t want to just take what looked like the ‘easy road’.

We owe it to our children to help make their childhood one that they will look back on and smile or the best of what we can give to them.  And for me making some religious decisions was a key factor.

I began exploring different religions but also began really learning about the Catholic church.  I was given different paths to get to the answers that I was so desperately in search of.  The love I always had for God and wanted to have for the church had now been solidified.

I started my journey off not knowing where I would end up but I ended up finding my way home, home to the Catholic church.   That has brought me happiness I have never known and a euphoria that is just awesome. This is just a part of my religious journey and my journey may be very different from yours.  You may not have had a journey yet and my only advice is that God is always with us especially when we think he is not.  But if you are not truly open to the journey you may just miss it.  When you finally find yourself open and being guided onto a journey it is an unbelievable one.  One worth the voyage.

I hope you will continue to join me as I learn the ins and outs of motherhood, staying home and the Catholic church.

copyright 2014  Sheila M Scarpulla . All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent