I have never been able to understand how a person could get so angry that they would harm another human being. I use to think a person had to just be evil to commit murder or violence. Then I got a little taste of that anger. I figure this is a good time to share that with all the violence that has been happening in our country and world.
Something happened recently to someone I love dearly. I hope to write about it one day but today it is too fresh, to new. Yet, this event opened my eyes to what hate is and how it is fueled.
When I love, I love with every fiber of my being and when someone I love hurts the pain I feel for them can be unbearable. This time though that pain turned to anger. Could it have turned to rage? I wished those who had hurt my loved one pain and suffering. I knew these people had NO clue what pain they had caused and so I wanted them to feel even a tiny piece of what I felt.
I could see how easily it was for a person’s brain to switch. How in the heat of those feelings all you want to do is avenge your loved one or to make those who have hurt you hurt just as bad or worse.
I am blessed to have two amazing parents who raised me to know God and to know right from wrong. I was taught that actions have consequences. I never wanted to get in trouble with any authority or disappoint anyone, whether it was my parents, teachers or police. So when this event came up I was able to control myself. I was able to rationalize what I was feeling. I accepted it as a feeling and not something to act out on.
I never felt those feelings before and they were SCARY. I NEVER want to feel them again. Those feelings led me to start counseling so I could try and work through what I was feeling. I was able to reach out for help.
What if I didn’t have that upbringing would I still have felt this way? I am not sure. Would I have been able to stop myself from acting on those feelings? What if I didn’t have all those people in my life who loved me? What if I didn’t have those people to let down?
What if I didn’t have parents or had absentee parents? What if I had parents but they were physically, emotionally or mentally abusive? What if I lived feeling like an outcast or a failure? What if I felt this way all the time? What if I had no one? What if I went to a school I hated and every day I was picked on or beat up? So many what if’s.
There are people out there who do horrible things, unimaginable things. Were they born evil? Were they born full of hate? I try to believe that the majority of these people, if not all were not born evil and learned to hate. I believe that I was blessed to be raised the way I was but does that make it ok for me to judge someone who was nowhere near as lucky as I was? NO.
So I have learned a lot and I am teaching my children all that I have learned. What have I learned?
I learned that good people can do bad things. Everyone needs our prayers even those who harm us or others. Those people may possibly need our prayers even more than others. We should try our hardest to not judge others especially people who may be different than us. We can’t say how we would react in a given situation unless we have actually been in that situation.
If we see someone alone or that looks sad we can try and reach out to them or tell someone. If we see something that seems out of place or strange we should tell someone we trust. A little eye contact and a simple smile to someone can make a difference. We need to show people who God (they may not know of God) is through our actions. We need to love one another (even those we don’t know) as He loved us.
May God watch over us all and guide us to help those around us. May he touch those who are alone or who are struggling.
copyright 2018 Sheila M Scarpulla. All rights reserved. No reproduction without written consent